voulez vous couchez avec moi?

I started watching my favorite movie today... A big tough guy like me? What would it be? Yup! You guessed it! MOULIN ROUGE!

I am a visual person, so the colors, lights, sets, the blending of medium... loves it!!! I saw this movie in theatres and I fell in love. I ended up seeing it two more times in the theatre and bought it the first day it came out on DVD.

Besides the visual amazingness, the music is great, and the story is even better. It seems like such a simple thing. Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Girl is a hooker. Don't seem so shocked. It worked for Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. But this one goes a step further. Besides the romantic storyline, this is a deeply emotional and spiritual story. It deals with Freedom, Truth, Beauty, and Love. These are four principles that carry this movie along. Within the twisted lives of our heroes who seem to be trapped and opposite they find the freedom through each other and their art. The whole story lives and pushes forward with lies and deception, however the Truth is always just around the corner and we see that is what ends up winning. Beauty is found in the music, the lights, the dance, the passion, the character, and the goodness of their hope. And above all else, there is love. We get to see the difference between what jealousy will do and how love conquers it.

The story line echos and overlaps and copies itself throughout the movie. The story starts off with a writer writing a story about a story which he is writing which is a story that is happening the echoes the story. Confused... yeah. It can be. Watch this movie though and you will go crazy and it will make so much sense!

the big 3 - OH!

So I turned 30 the other day. I haven't really considered it. I am not avoiding my age. Yeah it sucks that I can't eat what I want and abuse my body with all-nighters and 3 rugby games in a day, but I am ok with that. I don't feel that old (as I say that, I have this nagging pain in my back that makes me get out of a chair slower than Homer Simpson) and I don't look old, so I am all good.

However, I am worried that I am not wiser than I should be. I have been through a lot and experienced many wonderful things. However there are many things that I have experienced that are not so wonderful. Now thats ok too. I mean we take the good with the bad and we learn from both, but I wonder...

Have I learned enough from the bad? Have I matured enough in my 30 years and 9 months on this planet to not make the same mistakes? I feel I have, but I know that I am not the most mature guy there is. I still retain that "boyish charm!"

You guys can watch that for me!

auto-pilot...

I am on auto-pilot today. I am so tired. As I type this my eyelids are slowly closing like a lazy sunset on a Saturday afternoon. My eyes are starting to cross and the words are slowly becoming fuzzy and then black. I was up at 5:10am this morning and I don't know how I made it out of the house. I know that at some point I did make it out of the house because the below zero temperatures did wake me up temporarily as I trudged to the bus-stop.

But from there, I know that I slept until I got to the metro and in zombie-like fashion I got off the bus and make my way down to the metro platform and onto the awaiting subterranean train. From there I slept another 30 minutes to my stop. I got up and got off the metro and plodded my way to work, waking briefly due to the cold once again. Once upstairs I got my stuff settled and then I went to boil some water, where my coworkers found me in a semi-standing position awaiting my watched pot. It took a while, so I got the chance for a mini power nap.

So now I am sitting here... trying to be creative and awake. My mind and body are dreaming of duvets and plump pillows, the warmth of a recently vacated bed, and having someone who won't mind my morning breath and snoring to spoon with.

if I were Beyonce...

Here is one more sign that pop-music is just... I don't even know how to describe it. I cannot tell you how much I dislike this song. It sounds like I don't have much to say... but I do.

(For those of you who like this song, you are completely entitled to do so. My wife enjoys this song and i would never dare cross her. So you are in very good company. However, I think this is one of the worst songs ever!)

So allow me to launch into my tyrade!

I have never heard such a bunch of whiney tripe in my life. Basically Beyonce feels that if she was a boy she could sleep in, drink beer, chase after girls, and scratch herself however she wants. And then somehow if she was a boy she would be able to redeem the whole male race by listening.

Now, I now I may not be listening to this song properly, but excuse me if the rich, attractive girl is in such a tough spot that she wishes she were a boy. Good for her if she is standing up for all the women who have been wronged by men, but please... really...? A whiney song? Thats how you're going to fix it?

If Beyonce was a boy she would be called BOYonce. If she was a boy her singing career would have never taken off and she would be sans her hubby Jay-Z. If she were a boy she would be a lonely guy with a fat ass.

Sorry if this comes off as insensitive, but this song just bothers me...

If you dare watch the video, here is the link:

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=EpND5kz8AQk

pushed around

Sometimes you get put in your place. It sucks to realize that you are completely powerless in some situations. No matter how big or how important you are at some point you will be at the mercy of someone else and there is nothing you can do about it. What do I mean?

Well lets say you got and appointment at the doctor or some other highly paid professional individual. His rules states that if you don't cancel at least 24hours before, you have to pay 50% of what it would have cost you. If they don't show up, you're the one left holding the bag. Or how about this situation? You call up your phone company because you have moved and you need to have your line installed/activated. "Not a problem sir," they tell you, "We will be able to have a representative at your location between this Tuesday at 1pm and Friday at 4pm." Can you really afford the time off to watch a guy press a couple buttons and be on his way? But you really have no choice.

No real deep meaning today. Just pure frustration at being the little guy that has to follow along as best as he can. Its really frustrating!

PS The above picture is not actually in regard to this topic, but it could like like it.

tough time sleeping...

My wife and I are trying this new sleep thing with our little one. This new technique if you will is really tough on him and us. Its only a day or so old, so we will see how it ends up. We were used to the baby crying and we pick him up and tap him and hold him and do whatever we can to get him back to sleep. It wasn't easy, but there were things we could do and they worked. And to be honest I liked the idea of being able to help. I liked being able to hold him and feel like we were bonding. There was something in it for him and for me. Now, we let him cry in his crib. We are right there, talking with him and patting him to try and calm him down, but its rough. The cries of your son are so heartwrenching and you just want to fix it for him.

So we are going through this tough time now, but I am sure that my little guy will be able to pull through it without any major problems. So I am with him at around 1am and I am laughing uncontrollably at his attempts to get to sleep. He had just finished crying and now we has doing every random thing you could possibly do. He was dragging his hands across the bars of his crib, enjoying the sound. He would roll from side to side. He was banging his hands on the mattress and then on his legs. He even ended up talking to himself (it was just babbling, but I know he is talking. He understands himself). He would even look at me and smile as if for approval. I was laughing out loud at one in the morning!!!

I love that kid. I can't wait to get back home and see him.

Nine Pics of LIMA!!! 9 of 9

Yes, it is the last of the Lima pictures that I am putting up and blogging about. Don't cry... Or if you do cry please let me know in advance so I can come over and take a picture! This little girl was crying at the zoo. I don't know why... who doesn't like the zoo. Maybe she had been denied some ice cream or a little stuffed monkey. Oh well. She was tremendously cute though!

If you want to see more shots from Lima or any shots, please let me know and i will describe exactly what I was thinking, feeling, and doing the day I shot it! Pictures somehow allow me to remember entire days from a singular captured moment! Talk to you soon I hope!

Nine Pics of LIMA!!! 8 of 9

Have you ever wondered what two turtles humping looks like? No you know exactly what it looks like. My last few hours in Lima were spent at their local zoo. It was fun to see a host of local wildlife as well as some international favorites. I feel sorry for zoo animals, but enjoy the opportunity to see them. I am conflicted... But one thing about zoo animals is that they get ridiculously horny. Being caged up does something to an animal and they just want to do it! Maybe they get bored and need something to take their minds off their captive status. But to see two turtles go at it in slow motion was pretty funny and embarassing. Their shells really get in the way and they slide off frequently!

Nine Pics of LIMA!!! 7 of 9

This happens to be one of my favorite pictures of my whole trip. There is nothing too spectacular about it. Its pretty standard... sunset, lights, ocean, cityline... yeah. There are probably a whole bunch of photos just like this on flickr or smugmug. But this picture speaks to me. I had had a long day of walking and seeing the sites. I had gone to a photo exhibition that was as powerful as it was beautiful as it was depressing. I had just come from taking a bunch of skateboarding pictures at a park and people watching. The cab had dropped me off here because he didn't know where I wanted to go and I was frustrated of pointing it out on a map. But thankfully it all worked out... I was here... at this spot. Looking out at the beauty before me. Awestruck and thanfkful that this was where I ended up. I set my camera up on a mini tripod and tried a few exposure lengths until I got this shot.

Nine Pics of LIMA!!! 6 of 9

Even though I did not see too much of this up close and personal, this picture screams Lima to me. I saw Lima as a beautiful, rich, and vibrant city. I saw breathtaking landscapes, inspiring architecture, and gorgeous and friendly people. This is the other side that we were advised not even to go into. Even though it may not have been "safe" for gringos to go into and take pictures with big cameras, its still like the rest of Lima. With the houses built right into the mountain, I couldn't help but continually look and be fascinated by it. Though the architecture would be considered blah and boxy, the colors, the height, the proximity of the buildings, and my imagining the roads and paths that lead all the way up are really enough to be burned into my mind for life. And I am sure that the people in there are just as gorgeous and friendly as anywhere else... I wish I could have gotten closer... I am thankful for a telephoto lens!

Nine Pics of LIMA!!! 5 of 9

While I was in Lima we were treated to a rather large military parade. It wasn't in our honor though.... just in case you were wondering!!! As we were dodging the parade routes and blocked streets we stumbled across this statue just outside of the main square. I dont know what it commemorates or honors, but it is obviously meant to be noticed and has something to do with dancing. Dancing is by far one of the preferred past times in Lima. Since the statue is bright red it is immeadiately noticeable and cries out to have its picture taken. I laughed at the little boy in the bottom right poking his head out and adding a little more personality to this shot!

Nine Pics of LIMA!!! 4 of 9

This guy was one of my favorite models on my trip. We were going to see the presidential palace and all that good stuff in the heart of downtown. There was a very heavy police presence due to all the diplomats and important people for the APEC conference; so there was a lot to see and watch. Nonetheless, this guy was the center of attention. Every person who walked by or even caught him in the distance wanted to know if he was still alive and what was up with him. He was pretty beat up, but this picture shows him happily resting.

Nine Pics from LIMA!!! 3 of 9

This happens to be from the same park as the Nazca symbols. Throughout the park there was a beautiful cement checkered path that just led me to imagine it heading off the faraway places. It felt like I was a little like Alice in Wonderland or Dorothy heading to Oz. (Do only girls take cool looking paths?) You can see condos in the background overlooking the Pacific. Ummm... yeah.... anyone want to timeshare on one?

Nine Pics from LIMA!!! 2 of 9

This shot is number two on the list from my little visit to Lima.

Lima is a bustling city with all kinds of things going on. It is not some sleepy little South American town. However it is very picturesque with grand views of nature and architecture. This one is a little bit of both. In a different part of the country they have these "crop circle" things but are in the form of animals. They are called Nazca symbols and this one happens to be a little monkey (big monkey i guess). This park is high up on a cliff with the ocean pounding below. People bring the dogs to play. Others bring their lovers to make out with. Do not confuse the two.

Nine Pics from LIMA!!!! 1 of 9

So I have some shots of Lima that I would like to share with a little explanation for each.

So this first one was taken at the beach in Miraflores which is just a little section of Lima. It has a lot of nice restaurants and bars and is a somewhat touristy place to visit. Its a great place though with a lot of culture and a place to meet tons of different cultures. SO this beach offers some surfing opportunities and they guaranteed you will stand up by the end of your first lesson! Unfortunately I was on a tight budget and couldn't hang with them... but they were great to talk to!!! Next time I am in town I will definitely take them up on it!

Flipping it upside down and back to front...

Marithe & Francois Girbaud, originally uploaded by kunshou.

I love this picture. I love the role reversal. I love thinking about how others will think about this.

Its a beautiful photo and leads itself to many meanings and interpretations. Not much else to say. Enjoy the pic and keep looking for things that are out of the ordinary and even out of place or different.

Stay tuned to the Blog for photos of Peru that will be up the evening! Yay!

i will fix you...

photo from: http://www.paulridenour.com/CPclocks.jpg

I am currently listening to this song over and over and over and over... if you get my drift.

I am not a Coldplay fan! WHAAAA??? HUHHHHHH? Thats right, I said it! But this song has definitely captured hearts and minds. Everyone who I talk to about this song loves it. Its a simple song but speaks (or sings) volumes.

There is also something about it that rocks us to the very core of our being. Take a look at the lyrics:

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
"Just what you're worth"

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I...

Tears stream, down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

We all have a desire to fix problems and/or things we see. We want to straighten that crooked picture hanging on the wall. When someone is crying we want to offer arms open wide and a shoulder to catch those tears. We like being able to be in a position of fixing someone.

I think why this song has been resonating with me lately is that I feel like there is some fixing to be done in my life and I like the thought of someone coming and helping "fix me."

Take a listen to the video and tell me what you think. I smile and get pumped everytime I watch this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBEYyHGbwto

nothing to say...

I feel like i have to put something up here because it has been forever since I have written something! Forever actually translates to like 4 days, but its all good.

So I am back from Lima... I made it in no problems. Not a very comfortable flight and the airplane food was just garbage!!! I normally don't mind it, but this was beyond awful. Imagine, I spend a week eating local food and running the risks that it entails and then get on board a plane for a company I work for and I get all liquidy! Gross eh? Food, by the way, in Lima is delicious. I highly suggest a little Tuca-Tuca and cebiche topped off with a pisco sour. Did I say how much I miss Lima? Anyone with a job offer in the Lima area, send it my way. I am ready to take it!

So nothing new here. The Montreal Alouettes lost in the Grey Cup... what else is new? The Montreal Canadiens are in a slump and can't find any good rythm. That sucks. We are 30 days away from Christmas... thats fun! Although Christmas day is a make believe date. But Christmas is always fun... so looking forward to that.

Ok... I will end this here. I am just kind of rambling because I feel the need to update this and keep it fresh... I have pictures from my trip to Lima coming soon. Tomorrow or the day after! They're great! You're great!!! Yay!

Here is an older picture to keep you interested!

Ahhh TATTOOS!!! Run away!

roller coaster in the barillo...

So I experienced the most intense roller coaster ride in my life.

Today we got a later start to our day because we wanted to go to a photo exhibition downtown Lima which opened at 11am. So we headed out by cab as we have been for the past couple days. Our cab driver didn't seem to know where he was going. He had no idea actually. We took out our map and he stopped to ask directions 3 times. But we ended up going through the worst part of town. Our host had specifically recommended to stay away from that area without a group of locals being our bodyguards.

We did not go the usual way to get into town and we quickly realized we were going through the poor of the poor. It was fascinating and eye opening to go through there. To see how the rest of the city lives was sobering and soon became scary. All of a sudden the tension just shot through the roof. Our cab driver started getting jittery and kept looking over his shoulder. I felt like i was in a spy movie and we were being followed. We knew the seriousness of the situation but still wanted to push the envelope and take pictures. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and these pics had to be taken! This being said, I was not so quick to pull up the camera and snap away. The stress was palpable... the driver rolled up the windows and told us to put away the cameras. He was worried about us, but more importantly about him and his car.

It was a very surreal experience. We felt privielged to view a part of Lima that screams reality and a side that most people don't see. There was a little excitement to be doing something different and dangerous. However, our logic kicks in a now we want to get out. We notice that we are being noticed!!!! The car is bouncing all over the road due to potholes and craters. The driver is tense and the traffic is hemming us in. We were actually bumped a couple times by other cars. With the windows rolled up the heat is now oppressive. We are following a bus who's exhaust is black and toxic. I can't tell you how nervous I was. The first chance we get we are out of that car and heading to a "safe zone."

I am glad to have made it out and really happy that Lima is safe!!!

they stormed the city!

Hey...

I am still in Lima... thankfully! Still loving it here and with each minute that passes by I want to pour myself into its culture.

Today was an early morning start for us. We headed out for a little desayunos(breakfast) in the heart of downtown. Once we had had our cafe con leche we went walking again and got to the main square where the presidental palace is. As we looked around we could tell something was going to happen. There was riot police everywhere and there was a slight edge in the air. We waited around and were rewarded with a military band playing some really good tunes. It was big band meets salsa. It had such a nice kick to it, it caused people to dance in the street in front of swat police in full riot gear. It was really impressive and fun!

Our day continued with walking and a little bit of shopping for souvenirs. However due to a big conference going on and the arrival of the Chinese delegation the city was blocked off in a lot of areas and we were not able to move around as freely as we would have liked. However this allowed us to catch multiple regimens of the armed forces march and parade around the square. It felt like the entire army was there and we just kept snapping away(pictures are to come, but since I did not bring my laptop, you will have to wait to see!) When the parades stopped we finally were able to make our way back to Miraflores (look at the flowers!)

Once arrived we met up with Jorge, our most excellent of hosts, and went out for some sushi. It was sooooooooo good. It was a Japanese-Peruvian fusion and it knocked my socks off! From there we just walked around a little more, because our feet weren't totally chewed up yet, and headed down to the water to have a nice coffee and watch rich people pay too much money for things that they didn't really need. Aren't I a cynical bastard?

Now we are back home and I am blogging... One thing has stuck in my mind from today though. There were a couple of people begging today. I am sure there were more, but I did see about six or seven that really hit me and have caused me to think. It was always mother's with young children and it hurt so bad to see a child not have the same advantages that I have and that my 6 month old has. There is a sadness in their eyes that I cannot begin to explain. However, I turn away. I dont want to look at the reality of things dead on. I want to believe that the mother is not really that hard up and she is bringing her kids, or anybodies kids, with her to make me feel sorry for her... and I harden my heart, ignore her situation, distract myself with just about anything else. I am a cruel for having a granola bar and not giving it to her. I am a liar for pretending that she is not doing so poorly. I am a selfish prick to hold on to my change to get something for those who already have (mainly me). I am a hypocrite for writing a blog about how much I care for those who need it and not making any significant change in my life.

I still love this city even though it can show me for who I truly am.

Lively Lima!!!

So first day done and my feet are aching!

Lima has vaulted to one of the top positions of favorite cities. Its beyond impressive, surpasses gorgeous, supplants interesting... I cant say enough good things about it.

We started off our day taking a stroll in our neighborhood of La Molina before heading off on a crazy cab ride to Miraflores which is a very desirable place to be. The houses range from run of the mill to spectacular Spanish-villa style to condos that are perched on a cliff looking out on the beach below. We walked down the cliff, snapping photos along the way and when we got to bottom we are tempted into surfing lessons by a couple of the locals. "You can't experience Peru until you have surfed it!" was their claim and was tempted to believe them. There are still a couple days left to the trip... who knows. I might just have to go try it.

We climbed back up the hill in search of food and drink and found it at a little restaurant called "Las Pizzas Bar." We were treated to free pisco sours and were so taken with them that we quickly ordered another round at $10 a piece... (uno mas!!!) The waitress was wonderful (weally?) and the food was even better! hmmm... a pisco sour would so hit the spot right now! Once we got up from our beverages we were off exploring and taking pictures again. We walked to different parts of town and were continually blown away by the buildings and the attention to beauty and their desire to inject it into everything.

We made it back to the cliffs, but this time at a huge green park with "Peruvian crop circles" placed in the grass. The cliffs were awe inspiring and we were able to watch the sunset into the ocean. It was obviously very beautiful cause there were about a dozen couples just making out to it all. We kept walking and walking and walking... but we did cross the biggest and craziest public skate park I have ever seen. Not only was it a skate park but it had a huge dirtbike track... with jumps, kickers... the whole nine yards! We ended up eating and people watching on a busy street and after a strong coffee we hailed a cab and took the roller coaster ride back to our part-time home.

Amazing place people! Make your way out here!!!

Mathieu Picchu????

Ok, so I am making this one quick... as I possibly can.

I am currently on a mini vacation in Lima, Peru. I decided to go last minute with a friend of mine to somewhere I have never been before so I can scratch another country off my list. The flight over was very enjoyable with the exception of a couple bumps and the fact that the woman sitting in front of me decided to travel the entire flight with her seat pushed all the way back on my knees... yeah...

Peru is amazing. It is really a bustling metropolis where as a westerner you could get whatever you need. We arrived at the airport at around 10pm and it was a hub of activity. Non stop action. People greeting you and pointing you in the right direction. McDonalds, Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, and Papa John were all waiting to treat you to the Peruvian experience! There are cell phones for rent, jewelry stories to splurge in, and Inka Cola to drink!

We are staying with someone i met through couch surfing and I am amazed at his place. I would definitely trade appartments in a heartbeat. He is very nice and accomodating and I know that this guy is a gold mine! I am very happy with our find!

So today I start my first full day in Peru... I am excited to explore and get out there! I hope to update on other days as we try and find a cheap way to get to Machu Pichu. Dont know if we will be able to...

Couch surfing

I just joined an online group called couchsurfers. This group is basically for people who are travelling and looking for people to stay with while they travel. Sounds crazy... i know. People voluntarily giving up their homes and letting complete strangers in. They will share their home, their food, their time, and their city for someone who asks.

Can you believe this? I love the world we live in where people are still generous and willing to take a chance on others! Shouldn't it be more like this? Just to read the comments and praises of people who were so hospitable is so encouraging! The amount of friends and connections made on that site is uplifting!

Anyhow... just wanted to let you know. I will be taking advantage of it in this coming week. Hopefully people will feel like having me invade their home! If you are ever in the Montreal area look me up!

the heart of the matter...

What is this? Trouble in the Crayola factory? Not quite...

This is the first creation by my son... not even 6 months old! I got a new laptop and I thought that he and I should spend some creative time together and he just went to town. He has banging his hands on my laptop to the point where I thought my new toy was in danger of being abused! I had to help him out though. I held the button to allow him to paint and changed the colors once he started losing interest!

And then to top it all off, this afternoon my wife and I took him to the hospital for a little check up. He has a bigger heart than most babies his age as he is bigger than most babies his age! Ha! Its so simple it makes sense! So the doctors thought it best just to make sure all was good because they were hearing a murmur. So we went in for an ultrasound and I got to actually see his heart. I saw it beating and pumping blood. I could look into his body and see him from the inside out. He was blissfully unaware of everything that was going on. He was having fun looking around and being distracted.

I have to say it was amazing to get that perspective on him. To see his insides working while he is just lying there smiling was a once in a lifetime thing. I wish that I was a ultrasound technician so that I could understand it more. And then I started wishing that actually seeing his physical heart meant I could see his "actual" heart. The heart that will control his emotions and not his bloodflow. Who is he going to be? I want to know, there are pieces of me in there!

Then I thought back to his painting. He was just banging on the computer not realizing that his hand was controlling what was up on the screen, but just enjoying the whole ride. I am going to keep doing the same!

Inspiration... breathe it in!

The Smoke by lucaszoltowski

http://lucaszoltowski.deviantart.com/art/The-Smoke-100571961

I search for inspiration... i scour comics, pictures, speeches, sermons, music, and movies to find it. Its what makes us as humans want to be better, to be different. I like to think of it as reaching out beyond ourselves, the mundane if you will. Reaching out and touching something divine and supernatural. That doesn't mean that all that is inspired is pretty or beautiful. Its something that can push you to see things through a different perspective and alter your perceptions. The picture above is not beautiful by typical standards. It is not full or bright colors and curvy lines and is not full of hope and all that stuff. But it is creative and a lot of work and heart went into it. When I see something that simple make such a huge statement I smile and mentally kick myself for not doing more or not thinking of it myself.

Just for kicks here are a couple of definitions of inspiration that are inspiring themselves:

1. divine guidance or influence exerted directly on the mind and soul of humankind

2. stimulation of the mind or emotions to a high level of feeling or activity

3. an agency, such as a person or work of art, that moves the intellect or emotions or prompts action or invention

4. arousal of the mind to special unusual activity or creativity

Doesn't that make you want to get out there and paint or write a sonnet? It makes me wish that I was more in tune with everything out there. The worst thing about it is that material for inspiration is everywhere. All we have to do is breathe it in!!

"the act of drawing in, especially the inhalation of air into the lungs"

Its as simple as breathing. Just open up and let it in! I would continue but its early and I am worried I am not making much sense. Get out there and be inspired and inspire others! Take the "ugly" and watch how quickly it can grow into something beautiful.

Let me know how it goes!

...better times by Kat-Art http://kat-art.deviantart.com/art/better-times-102182319#

there goes my hero...

I have always wanted to be a superhero. But I am not greedy. I wouldn't expect a superhero of Superman proportions. Something more along the lines of a Spiderman...

I love the superhero that is a regular guy and has the extra burden of dealing with his power and responsibility of his position. Superman really can't be killed. He can fly into space, he could eat bullets for breakfast, and if he flies fast enough counter clockwise to the earth's rotation, turn back time. Oh yeah, this is a fact! Spiderman can be shot, struggles to keep a job and pay the rent, and has to deal with bad guys as well as relationships with those who are close to him.

I think this is a lot closer to what we live in our regular day. I like to think that we all have this special gift or power and we have to figure out how to work with it on a daily basis. What can be do with our talents to better the world and lives of others.

Then there is also the anti-hero. He is the reluctant hero. He doesn't want to do anything with his gifts for anyone else. They are a burden and the individual feels no responsibility to use them other than for his own purposes. I find these characters intriguing as they usually have a dark past that they are trying to deal with and overcome. There is a desire to do good, but they shy away from the spotlight and they try hard to figure it all out.

I love comic books and stories. I like seeing my life,struggles, hopes, and fears through the eyes of fictional characters.

I hope my little, flying ninja will be be able to be a superhero...

That movie was RELIGULOUS!!!!

So i went to see Religulous last night. Contrary to what the above poster makes you believe, it is not about monkeys... i was so disappointed. Just jokes... I knew there were no monkeys involved.

But the movie is definitely worth watching, regardless of your faith background. Be warned that Bill Maher seems to be very critical and hurt by religions. There seems to be a particularly toxic venom when he addresses people who are obviously caught off guard. I am not religious at all and I was laughing throughout this movie, however there were times that I felt really bad for the people he was talking to. He definitely has an agenda and will stop at nothing to get it through. But thats what you're paying for... you want him to poke fun and show the most outrageous religious nuts out there.

This movie will definitely challenge what you think and cause you to doubt any preconceived religious/systematic ideals you hold on to.

On a personal note... if you have been following this blog you know that I am a believer in Jesus. Contrary to what the movie would make you think, I have tons of doubts. I cannot guarantee anybody anything about the afterlife. Am I 100% of what is going to happen to me when this is said and done. Nope. Not close. If I could, you would see a very different person. However I am willing to risk a lot and lay down my life for it. A lot of what he said about religions and the people who follow them are unfortunately true. I would be glad to agree with him and do something about it.

Religious folk feel a great need to be right and the documentary brings up a good point that one can't answer some of these questions... but they try anyways. And the answers always seem so stupid and weak. Because thats what they are... they don't make sense because the natural can't fully explain the supernatural. So what happens? A formula for arguing is followed as if they are telemarketers. And when all else fails, attack the person with the questions: "What if you're wrong? What if there is a God and you won't get to be with Him?" Thats it... when all else fails... scare 'em.

Anyhow... i have doubts. I won't be spoonfed pat answers. I am glad that there are movies like this that make me squirm and push me to think a little harder and not take for granted my beliefs.

Bill Maher is still a little bit of a prick though.



In completely unrelated news, this movie below looks like a winner if you are into 3D animation stuff. I think there will be a really good message involved especially in light of the fears that we have and how we are almost programmed into them.

change is here

So its done... change is no longer coming... its here!!!

For those of you living under rock... in the ocean... with your eyes shut... and your fingers in your ears... Obama won the election. What can I say??? I am glad for the United States and glad for the world. I think this definitely shows a change in ideals and priorities that I think will benefit the US and, by the nature of the beast, the world.

However I am not a political person. I dont fully believe the democracy works. And before I get cyber-jumped-on, let me say that I am glad that I live in a country where I have the freedom to vote and "influence" change. However the system is very flawed... and thats where I feel that it doesn't work.

But back to Barack... Putting aside my dislike for politics, I do believe him to be honest and a man grounded in reality. Though he may not have all the political credentials and experience, that may end up working in his favor as he might be able to think outside the box and shake up the system. And in the end thats all I would really care about. Is his heart in the right place and does he have the creativity to solve a whole plate of very daunting problems.

But what do I know? I am a ballot-spoiling-Canadian!

judging books by their covers

My son is getting cuter and cuter! Sorry for being a gushing dad... but this picture is just too funny and really speaks volumes about who he is. But thats what I think.... I mean how much can I really know about him? He is 5 and a half months and he is just beginning to shape and form into who he is supposed to be. I can tell what he wants by his grunts and movements and all that stuff, but I couldn't tell you who he is going to be as he grows. He is away for a couple of days with mommy visiting family in the States and I am stuck with work, so I am feeling a little more sentimental than usual. But who he will be made me think about someone I bumped into on the metro the other day.

I didn't really bump into him. People kept a very wide berth from him. It was a teenager... he was about 15 years old and I could tell just by looking at him he was very, very low on the social food chain. It was sad that I could tell this by one quick glance at him and everyone else seemed to be able to as well. His hair was messed up and obviously uncared for. His underwear was sticking well over his waist band for his pants that were too big for his waist and well too short for his legs. His shirt was tucked into his underwear. He had leftover food from a meal on his shirt, cheek, and upper lip. His upper lip was trying to grow facial hair but it was obvious that it wouldn't be a little while for it to fill in. It actually looked like a 2 year old was drawing well outside the lines and gave up after the first few strokes. But besides his appearance it was his attitude that gave him away. He looked dejected and resigned to his fate. He knew that he was at the bottom of the totem pole and I imagine that he has had his fare shair of people teasing him and reminding him of that fact. He stood in the metro accepting of his situation but still sad and hurt. I could tell he had learned to tune out his emotions to emotionally survive. He has created defense mechanisms to slip away from the torment of his peers by not caring in the least. Once you get so low people lose interest because the challenge isn't there. I felt sorry for him, but at the same time glad that I wasn't in his shoes. I am selfish.

I then thought of my son. I hoped he wouldn't turn out this way. I hoped and do hope he will be well liked. Not so popular that people will be jealous and it will go to his head, but well liked enough that he is grounded and can be a go-in-between for all the cliques out there. So I am thinking about how difficult it could be for my son if he is outcasted and I am stuck. I want to say it doesn't matter. It will matter to him no matter how strong he is. It will matter to his mother and I as we see him grow up and face these issues...

It works out to that what will come will come. I will love him no matter what. And that maybe I should spend more time actually reading "books" than judging their covers.

29 year streak over!

It was bound to happen... one of these days I was going to end up missing it and I am so sorry I did!

So I got up early this morning. My little one decided that we wanted to have a snack at 4am!!! UGHHH!!! But he was so happy and smiley that I actually enjoyed getting up for him! So I get him taken care of and I start getting myself ready to go to work. Toiling on the sabbath... yeah I know. I am a horrible person. So I make a little breakfast and I walk out of the house at around 540am to catch the bus at 556. Its freezing cold! Literally. The grass is all crunchy cause it frozen and not only can I see my breath but I swear my body is giving off steam! So I make it to the bus and I try to keep warm while I wait. My feet are going a little numb and I drift in and out of sleep. I would sit down, but seeing that the bench is metal I am afraid that my ass would freeze to it and then I would really be in trouble!!!

So I wait...

And wait some more...

I swear I have been standing here for 30 minutes. But that can't be... the bus hasn't shown up yet. I start to panic... What if the guy didn't show up to work today. What happens then?? I am really stuck! I start talking to myself. Out loud. Its early so that there is no one around to tell me I am crazy. I start kicking the bus shelter in frustration. Not too hard though, because its too cold for that! I can literally (and I mean literally, literally) hear electricity going through the wires about my head. I am not joking. It sounds very futuristic... like I should be waiting for a hovercraft rather than a bus.

Finally another brave soul wanders over to the bus shelter so I know I am not crazy and I am actually at a bus stop. I nod and smile because I am very happy to see I am not completely crazy and that if I freeze to death at least this guy can steal my wallet and continue to live as me if he so desired. The bus shows up a couple of minutes later and I am happily on my way to work... well not happily, but you know what I mean.

Approimately 40 minutes later I am at work and I am ready to sign in and get my day started. Now realize that I sleep on the bus and metro whenever I can. I am completely oblivious to the world around me, but for some reason my body knows when to wake up and exit my particular mode of transport (I was just going to say wake up and get off, but that sounds to sexual). I look at the clock and it says 6:15am. I am 45 minutes early.

Thats right people. Daylight savings time is over!!! OVER! The one day where we get a free hour of sleep. A free hour!!! And I missed it! I feel like Santa just skipped my house. I have never missed a time change in my entire life and today that streak is over.

Change your clocks people!!! If you live in the part of the world where you need to of course!

doors open, people get out, people get in, doors close

As my title suggests this should be the natural order of things. Any other way just doesn't work nor does it make any sense. On a bus, subway, elevator, a car... whatever. It just makes sense... let the people get out first!

This morning as I am dragging my semi-concious body to work I am confronted with this almost-absolute truth. I am trying to get off the metro as quickly as I can to let people on and more importantly that I can be on my merry way. However there is a huge wave of people trying to rush in. I feel like a defensive lineman right after the snap. I am pushing through people who are all suicide blitzing! The metro aint going anywhere. If you are trying to get on the conductor will not close the door on your body causing your head to pop off like a well fed tic!

I really could go on further, but I will stop here. I think this has definitely moved up to my top pet peeve. I have thrown aside any "love your neighbor" stuff to the side when it comes to people pushing their way on prematurely. I will lower my shoulder and do my best to walk straight irregardless of who you are. You maybe be a pregnant grandmother army veteran in a wheelchair... I will ram into you and give you the evil eye while I do it.

I am such a bad person!

ummm... can you turn that down?

Remember back in the 80's (if you were around back then) how the stereotypical noise pollution was some "punk kid" with a boom-box and a bright red leather jacket. The boombox was typically carried on the shoulder so that the loud music would go directly in the ear of its carrier and at that elevation, carry quite a bit further to all those in the neighborhood. This was bad (although in the 80's I was not nearly old enough to care), but at least you weren't surprised. You see some guy carrying a boom box with a dance-like swagger, you knew what you were getting. You were not shocked when you heard loud music.

However nowadays we got something worse... cell phones. Everyone has one (though I do not, so I guess I fall into the ranks of a no-one). When they first came out they were big and bulky. You had to carry them in a briefcase like thing, so there were no surprises. They were also very few in number. But then there were more of them; multiplying like a virus. Car crashes went up dramatically because of them. All of a sudden people started getting tumors in the shape of cell phones. But it was still bearable. My issues have only been in the last couple of years where now instead of ringers (ex: brrring-brrring, beep beep beep) the phones play songs. Full out songs. At first I thought it was cool. I am at fault as much as anyone else. I used to have a cell phone and I downloaded "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" theme song as my ringer. People would hear my phone ring and they would nod their head approvingly and say stuff like, "NICE!!!" "AWESOME!!!!" and "I want that ringer!" It truly was my 15 minutes of fame.

But now people have full out songs and instead of answering their phones like God intended it to be. So now I have to listen to a poor quality of a song that I really don't like in the first place! This basically is due to the fact that I was awoken on my morning commute by "Soldier Boy." There are more rants to come today!!! Stay tuned!

Republican Jesus and burnt eggs...

I thought this was really funny. JC meets Pulp Fiction. I don't really care too much for politics. Oh well... shoot me. Its just so tiring all the back and forth and the "He raises taxes," "He doesn't care about the middle class," "I'm a war hero," and on and on and on. I understand if you like it... I understand the pull of it all. However it just tires me out.

Speaking of tired... I was really tired this morning. I got up at 530am to take care of the little one and I went to make my breakfast. I was just going to make some eggs. I started them up and then I sat down at the table to wait to flip them over. I probably woke up 20 or so minutes later with the smell of burnt egg permeating my appartment. I cursed my fatigue and misfortune and ate them anyway.

Thanks to my burnt friend Matt Harms for pointing me to this... check out his blog. http://www.mennoboy.com/matthew/ This is actually from a T-shirt

the state of the world...

I had an interesting experience just now at work. I was helping out a colleague with a problem when a manager walked by and decided to throw in his two cents (more like 1 cent because he has no cents!!! see that? See that play on words? Sense, cents? Get it? Yeahhhhhhhh.....) So basically he is new to the company and though he technically outranks us, when it comes to this job he doesn't know his ass from his elbow (I love that expression!). As he is trying to "help" we are all just looking at him as if lobsters were crawling out of his ears. Finally, he states with authority, "Go ask the Chinese guy. You know?? The little Chinese guy?" And then he proceeded to butcher his name.

Another colleague gets up at this point and is astounded at his stupidity. "He isn't Chinese, he is Vietnamese. Vietnamese!" Its almost as if the manager doesn't hear him.

"So yeah, email the Chinese guy." I look at him and bordering on rude I once again echo that he is not Chinese and his ethnic origins is not the sole way to define him and if that is how he is going to go about it, to at least get his background right! It bothered me quite a bit!

Now I am not huge on being policitcally correct. It took me a while to say firefighter rather than fireman. I still say mailman, because that's what I have delivering my mail. Saying mailcarrier seems demeaning, as if that is the only thing the can do. They are not simply beasts of burden! But I do think that we should be more aware of our world and the diversity that is found in it. Thankfully we have progressed past the point where jobs, wealth, the abillity to vote, and even your future was determined by your sex or the color of your skin (we are moving past that because unfortunately we have yet to overcome all the remaining hurdles.) I used to think that people were being overly sensitive and that we should get over it. However I also think that we have progressed and we have allowed ourselves to come to terms with the hurts and the mistakes of the past.

So I will close with another anecdote. I was at a poetry slam (nothing like tea and crumpets poetry reading) and I was talking to this poet and the conversation came to the fact that I had just become a father. We talked about the difficulties and the joys of raising a child and then he asked me, "Do you have a partner to share the job with you?" I smiled on the inside realizing that in today's world there are so many options to a family's structure. Having a child does not automatically make your married. I could have adopted, I could be divorced, I could be gay... so many options!

I found it fun.

35 cents is a lot...

So this one is going to be a short one with no photo. Sorry to all you visual people.

Forget 50 cent, I had a problem with 35 cents! No its not some up-and-coming-wannabe-rapper but it was the amount of change in my pocket. I was walking down to the metro (thats what the subway is called in Montreal) and I was completely lost in my own thoughts. I was in a kind of bad mood and all I wanted to do was to get home as soon as possible! So I had reached into my pocket to grab my metro pass and I noticed that I had 35 cents in my pocket. Being in a bad mood, I got frustrated and said what good is 35 cents? What can I do with that?

As I thought this, a guy came up and asked me something. Judging by the way he dressed, his piercings, and home-made tattoos he was going to ask me for something. I put up my defenses and kept my head down hoping not to make eye contact.

"Sorry, do you have 35 cents so I can make a phone call?" And in his hand he had a nickel and a dime.

"No. Sorry." And I kept walking and disappeared down the escalator. In less than a second I had lied to this guy... twice! I did have exactly 35 cents which I wasn't very thankful for and that were virtually useless to me! And I unfortunately wasn't sorry. I had my head up my ass and thought that the world was coming down on me, when this street kid needed to make a phone call. I had a huge gut check on my way down to the metro. I didn't care. I want to live my life where I treat others with the respect they are entitled to. Even more than that! I want to treat them better than they deserve. How many times have I just finished shopping for whatever it may be and a homeless person asks for some change and arms laden with goodies and with comparitively full pockets I tell them no I don't have any. How many times have I lied about this?

I am glad to say that I turned around when I got to the bottom and went back upstairs to find the guy still asking for change. I gave him the 35 cents I had and apologized. It was an awkward conversation, though incredibly brief, but the guy was a class act and was just happy that he could make his phone call. Doing the right thing is so often incredibly bittersweet.

Best 35 cents I ever spent!

My morning commute

Today I have an early morning shift; 7:00am-3:30pm. Its nice to get the afternoon off to do whatever it is I have to do, but getting up this early is sooooooo tough! I used to drive in to work but even at 6am there is traffic. I live in a part of town (or just outside of town) that it always seems as though there is traffic. Its unbelievable actually. At 6am it takes you almost an hour to get into work door to door. The people who wake up to beat the rush hour traffic create a mini rush hour traffic. Its so frustrating!

I love driving. I love controlling the pace of how I come in. I like catching up on the sports scores on the radio. But coming into work at 6am in a traffic jam is no longer driving. I feel like I am in a soap box racer with nothing but uphills ahead of me. So my wife convinced me to abandon my morning drive for public transport (see previous post for other things she makes me give up!!! :) ). I didn't like the idea of turning in my wonderful car... I even donated the thing to a non-profit organization just so I can't turn back! So I used to drive my car and be in my little bubble where I control where I go, what I listen to, what I see. Its my own little world, moving along and rarely interacting with any of the other little worlds alongside me. Unless they decide to cut me off and then interaction abounds!

So now I like talking the BMW (bus, metro, walk for those of you from outside of the Montreal area. Although I walk to get to the bus which brings me to the metro which pops me out right next to my work.) I enjoy being able to read on my way to work and sleep if I choose to. I like watching people fall asleep as their heads bob up and down like a floating cork. I like the fact that I am helping out the environment and the city's infrastructure. However I have noticed that there is something interesting about my morning metro rides. If you want to see how culturally diverse your city is, ride public transport in the wee hours of the morning. I get to ride with the United Nations every morning.

They get on with the lunches for the day and the free newspaper that is handed out at the doors of the station. They wear uniforms or multiple layers because they probably don't have the best jobs out there. At different points during the commute people get on and off and when they recognize a fellow countryman they give a big smile and immeadiately begin to speak rapidly in their native tongue. I hear very little French or English. I have started to recognize some of them and I know that their shifts are a lot longer than mine. If you have personal space issues they quickly disappear as you cram into your little seats (if you're lucky enough to get one!) and brush hands as you try to keep your balance when the vehicle comes to a complete stop. It truly is an enriching experience, though at six in the morning I am not at my best to appreciate it.

Lessons from a tea bag

My wife put me on a diet. If you knew me you would find the concept of me dieting is ludicrous. I have never done it and never planned on it. My idea of dieting was restraining myself from ordering an extra Big Mac Combo. I enjoy eating. Eating enjoys me. So anyways...

Part of this diet was to cut out sugars and caffeine from your diet. It is supposed to help balance you out and make your body better prepared for this change. So no more coffees, Coke, or ice cream. Damn! So I have been drinking herbal tea with flavored with natural nectars or sugar substitutes. My search for herbal teas led me to this particular company "Yogi Tea," of which I am now a big fan. If you read the box this tea should get a Nobel Prize. I feel better just buying it! It makes my drinking seem so spiritual! The universe wants me to drink this tea! Its almost like a spiritual rush. But I of course manage to screw it up. Each tea bag has a little quote on the "tail" of the bag that is supposed to lift your spirits and bring you into alignment with the universe. Today it was:

"Socialize with compassion, kindness, and grace."

I dropped the tea bag into the boiling hot water with a little too much vigor and the little tail went into the steaming briney deep. Natural reaction made me make a rush for and and I pretty much burned my fingers trying to fish it out. Profanities and footstopping shortly ensued afterwards and I can tell you that there was not much compassion, kindness, and grace in my first couple hours of work.

typical T-Giving post...

Well it's thanksgiving (Canadian style) and I am at work... working. Well blogging too. Its really dead today. Why do I have to be at work on an official day off? Especially since it was an early start and I was up late preparing supper for tonight. I wanted to do as much as I could last night because I wasn't going to have the time. And it has to be good. The inlaws and my family are coming over! So basically I am a little grumbly this morning. But here comes the thanksgiving day twist!

I have to be thankful for my job. This job that I severely dislike and sucks the life away from me like a chupacabra (latino demon/bogeyman... the word literally means goat sucker). This job pays the bills, is ultimately flexible, and is giving me time-and-a-half for my thanksgiving shift. What about all the other people who don't have a job and who would kill to work a day in my conditions, not even mentionning holiday pay!

I am thankful that I had to get up early. Even though I could sleep till the cows come home and getting up early aches in ways I am sure you can undertand, I am thankful. I got hold my son as he woke up and I got to see him smile as I got ready and left for work.

I have to be thankful that I have a home and food. I have a place to live and food to eat. I am in a position to welcome family over and share all the extra that I have.

There are tons of good things that I can be thankful about. So many that i would not be able to count them out. So maybe the issue is not what are all the good things I have to be thankful about, but the bad things. What are the things that I consider to be "less-than-positive" which most of the people on this planet would gladly accept as the difficulties of their existence.

Eat some turkey, gobble gobble. Be as happy as that puppy up there who just loves running! That reminds me, I have to go jogging... ugh! I am not going to be thankful about that!

Birth of a Fenix... 4.5 months later

Well... it has been a while since my pride and joy and graced this planet and I am going to copycat a friend of mine who has explained the name origins of his kids. Here we go!!!!

My son's name is Fenix Mateo Jarry. I will explain Mateo first just because its so much easier. My dad's first name is my middle name. My first name is now Fenix's middle name... with a Spanish twist!

Fenix is a much longer and more complex story. First let me explain a little about the myth of the phoenix. The phoenix is a mythological bird that holds great power and influence. It is a story found in many cultures across the word. The most common story is that this unique bird builds a final nest/funeral pyre and is then consumed by fire only to be reborn out of its own ashes. This story meant a lot for my wife and I as we had just gone through a rough time in our lives (through the fire) and we had just come out of it and new life came out of it. So it means a lot to us. There are some really cool stories about the phoenix and I will just share a couple.


One story involves Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. When the famous couple ate the forbidden fruit, Jewish myth says that they shared it with all the animals in the garden, which is why they all got kicked out. The only one that was spared was the phoenix because he did not partake and his reward was this type of immortality.

Another story describes how in ancient Greece the phoenix was a sign of good fortune. Politicians looking to gain favor with their public would avidly search for the rebirth of the phoenix which was an good omen and a sign of a great era to follow.

Besides the hundreds of stories the phoenix also symbolizes many things for many different peoples. Here are a few:

Immortality, Life after death, and Resurrection: Christians adopted the symbolism of the phoenix as an allusion to Christ's resurrection. In the Middle East they link the phoenix with palm trees which they consider to be eternal and powerful with their ability to prosper in desert conditions(very similar to rising from the ashes).

Divinity, Spirit, and Spiritual Obedience: Almost all cultures consider the phoenix to be a divine creature. The Chinese believe it to be the most sacred creature after the dragon. In fact the phoenix complements the dragon (yin-yang principle). In Japanese and Greek myths the phoenix represents the sun which was viewed as a god. Also in Judeo-Christian stories the phoenix embodies spiritual obedience as it is the first creature to hear God's command and obey it.

Health, Healing, and Balance: Obviously any creature that can regenerate itself from its own ashes must be in top physical condition and in great health. It is believed that the tears of a phoenix can heal any wound or injury including death. Some cultures say that the phoenix acts as a sort of ozone layer and protects the planet from the harmful rays of the sun. Another tradition shows how the phoenix values life and describes that the phoenix never kills and does not crush anything wherever it steps. The phoenix also plays a significant role in terms of balance. The chinese identified him as a symbol of inseperable fellowship, between couples and with the universe. This inseperable fellowship consists of maintaining a perfect balance which the Chinese held as of utmost importance.


Another reason that we went with Fenix was the fact that it is trilingual. Being that my wife is latina and we are both linked to Quebec and I have we both speak English it was important that it worked in the three languages. There is an accent over the "e" which this blog does not accept and so Fenix is acutally spelled the Spanish way since the "ph" as an "f" sound does not exist in Spanish. We also wanted to be different and not have to link it to the city in Arizona... so there.


So we hope for the best for our little man. We feel that the name Fenix reflects a piece of us and our lives and the things we hope for our son. I believe that it is tough and macho enough while maintaining a certain grace and artistic quality which we hope to pass on to our curious boy.





There are tons of other stories about the phoenix the span many, many cultures and if you would like to hear more please let me know. Or if you just want to know about Fenix I will be more than happy to field those questions as well!

Reflections of you...

I think that's the name of a song... not sure. But anyhow... I have been chatting with my wife about who I am as we work out whats wrong with and doing the typical psychological analysis. I am not saying that there is something seriously wrong with me... I am not medically crazy or something. But you know, we are just taking the time to look at me and kind of sort things out. Once you get married or you have a seriously relationship this will become the norm and your partner will live for these moments! Just kidding... love you babe! Oh boy... I will probably have to go through another one of these things when I get back home! :)






So for the purposes of keeping this blog active I am going to chat a little bit about reflections.







Visually speaking they are amazing and will continue fascinating us forever. Imagine one of those gorgeous landscapes with the mountains surrounding a still lake. The upside-down mountains we find in water, lined up against the real thing will take our breath away. Just seeing something again, differently, or in something that you wouldn't expect will keep us busy and interested for a long time. You ever notice that in most major buildings you will always find a mirror by the elevator or in the elevator? The reasons that its that are a) aesthetically speaking its very nice and makes everything seem larger and b) people spend their time looking in the mirrors and they dont notice the time pass.





As a photographer I am always looking for reflections of things. On the left you can see a photo of water drops reflected on the spoiler of my car. Underneath those reflections you can see the hazy mirror image of the tree outside my parents house set upon the blue sky. Sometimes you really have to pay attention and catch what is already out there. It takes work to see the things that your mind will pass over quickly as mundane.





So there is a deeper meaning to all of this. I think its the same thing with my life. I dont think I search hard enough to reflect upon what is going on in my life. I just gloss over things and not realizing that getting a different perspective can certainly help and make me see things more clearly. Its not obvious to stop and reflect or look at that reflection of you. Sometimes its not fun and you see things you dont like. Its so much easier to ignore it and continue on your way!

I haven't spent tons of time thinking this out and making something really powerful that will make you go home and look at yourself differently. However the main points still stand. Reflections are beautiful and whether or not we realize it, we are drawn to them and are mystified by the mirror-image. Reflection is necessary for our own lives. We gotta take a deep look at we are and see ourselves with all our blemishes, pimples, and unshaven stubble. Hey vampires can't do it... we should take full advantage.

what i believe...

I have been putting this off for a long time because I really don't know what to say. I was thinking about doing research and coming up with something really intelligent, well-planned, and thought out. But that's really not my style. I am a think about it a little bit, procrastinate a lot, and then just get something out there because I have been putting it off for way too long. So here goes...

The things I read, the things I do, the jobs I have had, and the things I say have caused quite a few people to ask, "Are you religious or something?" How they get that I am not entirely sure. I use profanity freely, I shock people, and do some crazy and downright stupid things. I guess I do them with passion... so that passes. I don't like the term religious because I hope and feel that I am not religious. At all. Not in the least bit. The only thing I do religiously is check my facebook to see if people still like me. However I do have a great degree of faith.

I have faith that things will work out in the end, no matter how badly they are going now (which sometimes feeds into my laziness). I believe that there is a God out there and that He (or she, I think that God is gender-neutral but I have so conditioned to write He, I just can't break the habit... see Pavlov's dogs... woof woof!) cares for me a great deal, cares for you a great deal, cares for this planet and all thats on it a great deal, and cares an even greater deal for how we all interact together. I love this God. He is funny. I think His favorite style of humour is irony. Not always so funny for me, but normally I am able to laugh at it in hindsight. (I wish my hindsight could be my foresight... that would help things quite a bit) I see God as Jesus and most of the stories that are told about Him, I can go along with.

Some of the stories I don't necessarily disagree with, but I think we focus on the wrong things and make mountains out of mustard seeds, spiritually speaking. Man (woman too, but chances are due to how the world worked back then we can hold men more accountable) has gone and screwed up things completely. They were faced with situations, events, and ideas that were so impossible to explain they had no choice but to try and explain them. Why did they do that? I am not sure but we still do it today. We want to take care of these kinds of things. We need to solve the mysteries out there so that they don't scare us. We want them put into boxes (or systems as my friend Tim says) so we can put them on the shelf in the storage closet where it will never haunt us again. So we try and explain the things we can't possibly comprehend and so we do a piss-poor job of it and make things worse by hurting the people and the planet that get abused by the system put into place.

So without going into a huge song and dance about how religion is a system to explain spirituality and God and that it often fails horribly because of its intent, I will quickly close about the things I hold as important. I believe that because we are not the end all and be all of the universe we need to act like it. There is a God out there and the most important thing is to love Him and seek to know more about Him because your life will change for the better. It doesn't mean you will be happier or things will be easier. But things will be better. We need to love those who don't get love because they need it most. (its hard... i struggle at it... alot) This means the people who cut you off in traffic, the person at work you can't stand, or that unpopular loner at work/school. That if you are reading this you are most likely incredibly fortunate and well off by world standards and we have a responsibility to help those outside of our immeadiate circle. This includes people of whatever race, color, language, background, and religion. (and preferably while we do these things that we are not profiting for ourselves and enhancing our position). I believe that we need a little more discomfort in our lives in order to remind us of our position. There are all kinds of other things up in my head but I think the last one I will throw in is to be inspired by things and allow these things to push you into action and inspire others. So whether you like to sing, dance, paint, write, meditate, preach, give, run, work, or whatever... just do it. Fairly simple and not that deep but I actively seek out inspiration and it always makes me feel better and I have known it to help others.

PS... these pictures I find something inspiring about each of them even though they have a typically religious theme. Peace...

Hurricane Ike, Turn-away!

Ike Turner... get it? He probably hits harder.... ooooooh! That is not funny, but i still went there.

Well he had to deal with Hurricane Ike while we were trying to enjoy a little vacation in Cayo Coco, Cuba. Home of Fidel, Che, and Rum. Due to the weather and the fact that we had to leave early meant that I didn't get to see much of any of them.

So we flew down on a special deal for an all-inclusive. Why were we so priveleged to get a special deal? Because a hurricane was on the way. Now we are no dummies. We know that hurricanes are crazy strong and they don't just mean a "storm" was going to pass through. We did our research. People had told us that it wasn't so bad and that it would quickly pass and Cuba was well equipped and experienced for these kinds of things. So we got down there and the first morning we got our hurricane warning and evacuation procedure... gulp! Still we were unphased. Then that evening room service came and asked if they could tape up our windows (see pic above). How did they know we were going to do it and why advertise to everyone...? Actually it was to help protect against the window breaking. Gulp part 2! Even though it was a nice sun-shiny day the wind was blowing fairly strong and we knew that we weren't so far away from experiencing something very powerful. We were advised that night at dinner that in prepartion for the hurricane that we would all have to meet in the shelter at 7am the next morning. Gulp, gulp, gulp! As we headed back we noticed how all the windows were now boarded up, the bars had been closed, any glass tables were locked up and put away, and people were drinking like fish. (fish don't actually drink like we do, but its fun to imagine a bunch of fish sitting around and drinking... ok its not that fun. lets continue) We packed our baby's bag just in case we needed to get out of there in a hurry... oh wait. Did I leave out the fact that we had a 3 month old with us??? We are adventuresome are we not? We had some of the staff and hotel customers cast us disapproving looks for our poor parenting choice. We're really horrible people.

So we get a phone call at 1am that night just wanting to check up on how we were doing. Ummmm... thanks? We're fine? Really sleepy... but fine. We didn't sleep that much so when they called back at 4:30am and told us: "Get out of your room, NOW!" We were ready to go! The wind was howling and the rain was dropping so hard you've think it would knock your eyeballs right out of your head! Clo had the baby, wrapped up and covered as much as possible and I had my camera bag, passports, Fenix's suitcase, and his diaper bag as we started our trek to the shelter. We had a great room far away from everything and close to the beach, but at this point we were not so keen on our room assignment. We moved slowly and were soaked before we even took our first step. As we moved one of the hotel staff saw our predicament and grabbed Fenix from my wife. He had a solid rain jacket and covered him up as best as possible as another one came over and offered up his raincoat. We moved from building to building trying to get as much shelter as possible. The whole time Fenix is smiling and laughing as if this was the best vacation ever! Seeing that he was only 3 months, that could have been the case!

So we finally reach the shelter, which by the way is only the cafeteria boarded up. We try to make do with the stiff backed chairs and the damp towels we are handed. Imagine all of us crowded in there trying to get comfortable and trying to sleep. Fenix was pretty happy though. He got a nice bed and a lot of attention, so he was good. The rest of us were stuck trying to stay up or sleeping on the floor. It was not very comfortable but we managed to last the 12 or so hours we were there. We did fun things like eat...uh.... .... and play Bingo Bingo Bingo! Not just Bingo. But BINGO, BINGO, BINGO!!! Cubans apparently like yelling bingo and so they want you to say it three times. Once the storm passed we were set back out into the wild. And it did look wild. Trees uprooted, windows broken... the whole nine yards. We had little electricity, no water, and no way to cool down as the beach and pool were closed. Good times.

We were soon evacuated out when Air Canada sent a plane to rescue us. Not just us, but a whole bunch of people. So we lost out on 3 days of our vacation and were not refunded for it. But we were ready to go. We had had our fill. We really want to see what Cuba has to offer... but maybe we will wait till the nice season.