what i believe...

I have been putting this off for a long time because I really don't know what to say. I was thinking about doing research and coming up with something really intelligent, well-planned, and thought out. But that's really not my style. I am a think about it a little bit, procrastinate a lot, and then just get something out there because I have been putting it off for way too long. So here goes...

The things I read, the things I do, the jobs I have had, and the things I say have caused quite a few people to ask, "Are you religious or something?" How they get that I am not entirely sure. I use profanity freely, I shock people, and do some crazy and downright stupid things. I guess I do them with passion... so that passes. I don't like the term religious because I hope and feel that I am not religious. At all. Not in the least bit. The only thing I do religiously is check my facebook to see if people still like me. However I do have a great degree of faith.

I have faith that things will work out in the end, no matter how badly they are going now (which sometimes feeds into my laziness). I believe that there is a God out there and that He (or she, I think that God is gender-neutral but I have so conditioned to write He, I just can't break the habit... see Pavlov's dogs... woof woof!) cares for me a great deal, cares for you a great deal, cares for this planet and all thats on it a great deal, and cares an even greater deal for how we all interact together. I love this God. He is funny. I think His favorite style of humour is irony. Not always so funny for me, but normally I am able to laugh at it in hindsight. (I wish my hindsight could be my foresight... that would help things quite a bit) I see God as Jesus and most of the stories that are told about Him, I can go along with.

Some of the stories I don't necessarily disagree with, but I think we focus on the wrong things and make mountains out of mustard seeds, spiritually speaking. Man (woman too, but chances are due to how the world worked back then we can hold men more accountable) has gone and screwed up things completely. They were faced with situations, events, and ideas that were so impossible to explain they had no choice but to try and explain them. Why did they do that? I am not sure but we still do it today. We want to take care of these kinds of things. We need to solve the mysteries out there so that they don't scare us. We want them put into boxes (or systems as my friend Tim says) so we can put them on the shelf in the storage closet where it will never haunt us again. So we try and explain the things we can't possibly comprehend and so we do a piss-poor job of it and make things worse by hurting the people and the planet that get abused by the system put into place.

So without going into a huge song and dance about how religion is a system to explain spirituality and God and that it often fails horribly because of its intent, I will quickly close about the things I hold as important. I believe that because we are not the end all and be all of the universe we need to act like it. There is a God out there and the most important thing is to love Him and seek to know more about Him because your life will change for the better. It doesn't mean you will be happier or things will be easier. But things will be better. We need to love those who don't get love because they need it most. (its hard... i struggle at it... alot) This means the people who cut you off in traffic, the person at work you can't stand, or that unpopular loner at work/school. That if you are reading this you are most likely incredibly fortunate and well off by world standards and we have a responsibility to help those outside of our immeadiate circle. This includes people of whatever race, color, language, background, and religion. (and preferably while we do these things that we are not profiting for ourselves and enhancing our position). I believe that we need a little more discomfort in our lives in order to remind us of our position. There are all kinds of other things up in my head but I think the last one I will throw in is to be inspired by things and allow these things to push you into action and inspire others. So whether you like to sing, dance, paint, write, meditate, preach, give, run, work, or whatever... just do it. Fairly simple and not that deep but I actively seek out inspiration and it always makes me feel better and I have known it to help others.

PS... these pictures I find something inspiring about each of them even though they have a typically religious theme. Peace...

poor poetry perfromance

Just thought i would put up a poem that I had created a while back. I haven't looked at it in a while and it may be garbage, but I am feeling guilty that I have no posted anything recently to the blog...

enjoy?

(Don't try and actually read it like a iambic pentameter kind of poem... the rythm changes and the goal was more of a spoken word kind of piece, with fluctuations and creative pauses! Ha!)


You got the church richly carpeted in His favour
The cross up front showing that He is your saviour
Your Bibles are leather bound, big, embossed in gold
You don't think for yourselves but do as you're told
The Sunday doors spring open to welcome you in
And you guard your weekly heart from others getting in
There'll be no more tears and His arms are open wide
Greetings with puckered holy kisses, but thats only once you're inside.

So God's gotta love you, you live and worship in His home
But only once a week and then you return to your own
He pours out His blessings oh-so abundantly
But one thing's for sure, your God don't love me.

I know that He don't love me because of all the walls you've built
The distance and division destroys, like I deserve the hurting guilt
I know that He don't love me cause the life you've built is so good
And you look down down on mine cause you think you should
I know that he don't love me because you're in and I'm the other
Your Christian country club fraternity won't accept me as a brother.

Should it matter if I'm different, poor, gay or muslim
If I'm shy, unattractive, freaky, or foreign
We've all somehow fallen short and I'd think I'm preaching to the choir
But based upon the way you act that would make me a liar.


"God bless you brother" and "Hallelujah" is the talk you talk
You definitely speak well of your spiritual walk
You see the great unseen and raise heavenward hands
But won't look me in the eyes and grab mine to help me stand
Do unto others as THEY are your brother and sister
But between the well dressed suit and the single mother... you missed her
You're in your caves, your boxes, your bubble
You see anything or anyone on the outside as definite trouble

We are the naked, the poor, the oppressed, the weak
Aren't we the ones you should want to help, the ones you seek
Why am I alone with you and feeling so
So where is the love, the agape, the philio

I know the He don't love me because of the look in your eye
Cause somehow I don't measure up no matter what I try
I know that He don't love me cause I got no jacket of my own
While you're wearing two sweaters in your heated mansion home
I know that He don't love me cause you're in and I'm the other
Your Christian country-club-fraternity won't take me as a brother

for poor

So I went to church the other day... that wouldn't surprise some people, but I guess some people would be surprised. I have nothing against church. I used to enjoy it. I loved getting caught up in meeting people and trying to wow them with your Sunday best. There were pizza nights and youth group and there was this general lovey-dovey-warm-fuzzy-kind-of-feeling when you walked in. People are supposed to like you when you walk in. (whether or not it happens is a different story!) You are supposed to learn deep mysteries about the world here and beyond. Your brain and heart are supposed to be challenged as you meet with other serious spiritual seekers!



But its been a long time since I have been. And the reason I went the other day was for work.



So I have been thinking about the whole church thing. I was blown away with the beauty of this particular church and just all that it has to offer in terms of atmosphere and awe. I was dwarfed by its high arching ceilings and stained glass windows. There were candles in there that were bigger than I am! Everything in there is carefully crafted with a purpose and with beauty. I know that God doesn't literally live in the church, but us humans have built a pretty nice cage for Him (Her/They... i will go with Him simply because that is what I am used to. God is beyond gender and what kind of genatalia He posesses is really irrelevant.) So anyways... I went to church... I always get so sidetracked on weird tangents! I was listening to the Father deliver a message and I watched the eyes of a lot of people light up. Even though it was just for a wedding people were in there looking for answers and looking for something more. It made me miss where I have been. I like looking for answers and my eyes will light up with every opportunity I get, but church is not the place where I want to do that anymore.

I want to experience God and truth and love outsides the sterile confines of the sanctuary. I want to interact, experience, try, fail, and live out this faith, this hope, this spirituality... whatever you want to call it! There is dangerous safety and safe danger out there and I want to live it!

I have no issue about doing that with a church. There have been churches, pastors, and even christians that have inspired me to seek out the best for myself and others. It can be done! I long to go to a building, a sanctum, that lives the life that they advertise and can positively influence me to do the same outside the confines of its walls.

So all this to say that I went to this church to "work." I stood in awe and the beauty of a building that I hope was inspired by the awe, majesty, and beauty of the Creator (there! no gender identification!). I was inspired to quietly contemplate beauty. I was pushed to be still and silent and take in the grandeur that surrounded me. I was challenged to rethink the way that I interacted with things greater than me and why I wasn't doing this more often.

There was also a little metal box that read "FOR POOR thank you." There is a deeper message in there somewhere and I can't wait to find it.