doors open, people get out, people get in, doors close

As my title suggests this should be the natural order of things. Any other way just doesn't work nor does it make any sense. On a bus, subway, elevator, a car... whatever. It just makes sense... let the people get out first!

This morning as I am dragging my semi-concious body to work I am confronted with this almost-absolute truth. I am trying to get off the metro as quickly as I can to let people on and more importantly that I can be on my merry way. However there is a huge wave of people trying to rush in. I feel like a defensive lineman right after the snap. I am pushing through people who are all suicide blitzing! The metro aint going anywhere. If you are trying to get on the conductor will not close the door on your body causing your head to pop off like a well fed tic!

I really could go on further, but I will stop here. I think this has definitely moved up to my top pet peeve. I have thrown aside any "love your neighbor" stuff to the side when it comes to people pushing their way on prematurely. I will lower my shoulder and do my best to walk straight irregardless of who you are. You maybe be a pregnant grandmother army veteran in a wheelchair... I will ram into you and give you the evil eye while I do it.

I am such a bad person!

ummm... can you turn that down?

Remember back in the 80's (if you were around back then) how the stereotypical noise pollution was some "punk kid" with a boom-box and a bright red leather jacket. The boombox was typically carried on the shoulder so that the loud music would go directly in the ear of its carrier and at that elevation, carry quite a bit further to all those in the neighborhood. This was bad (although in the 80's I was not nearly old enough to care), but at least you weren't surprised. You see some guy carrying a boom box with a dance-like swagger, you knew what you were getting. You were not shocked when you heard loud music.

However nowadays we got something worse... cell phones. Everyone has one (though I do not, so I guess I fall into the ranks of a no-one). When they first came out they were big and bulky. You had to carry them in a briefcase like thing, so there were no surprises. They were also very few in number. But then there were more of them; multiplying like a virus. Car crashes went up dramatically because of them. All of a sudden people started getting tumors in the shape of cell phones. But it was still bearable. My issues have only been in the last couple of years where now instead of ringers (ex: brrring-brrring, beep beep beep) the phones play songs. Full out songs. At first I thought it was cool. I am at fault as much as anyone else. I used to have a cell phone and I downloaded "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" theme song as my ringer. People would hear my phone ring and they would nod their head approvingly and say stuff like, "NICE!!!" "AWESOME!!!!" and "I want that ringer!" It truly was my 15 minutes of fame.

But now people have full out songs and instead of answering their phones like God intended it to be. So now I have to listen to a poor quality of a song that I really don't like in the first place! This basically is due to the fact that I was awoken on my morning commute by "Soldier Boy." There are more rants to come today!!! Stay tuned!

Republican Jesus and burnt eggs...

I thought this was really funny. JC meets Pulp Fiction. I don't really care too much for politics. Oh well... shoot me. Its just so tiring all the back and forth and the "He raises taxes," "He doesn't care about the middle class," "I'm a war hero," and on and on and on. I understand if you like it... I understand the pull of it all. However it just tires me out.

Speaking of tired... I was really tired this morning. I got up at 530am to take care of the little one and I went to make my breakfast. I was just going to make some eggs. I started them up and then I sat down at the table to wait to flip them over. I probably woke up 20 or so minutes later with the smell of burnt egg permeating my appartment. I cursed my fatigue and misfortune and ate them anyway.

Thanks to my burnt friend Matt Harms for pointing me to this... check out his blog. http://www.mennoboy.com/matthew/ This is actually from a T-shirt

the state of the world...

I had an interesting experience just now at work. I was helping out a colleague with a problem when a manager walked by and decided to throw in his two cents (more like 1 cent because he has no cents!!! see that? See that play on words? Sense, cents? Get it? Yeahhhhhhhh.....) So basically he is new to the company and though he technically outranks us, when it comes to this job he doesn't know his ass from his elbow (I love that expression!). As he is trying to "help" we are all just looking at him as if lobsters were crawling out of his ears. Finally, he states with authority, "Go ask the Chinese guy. You know?? The little Chinese guy?" And then he proceeded to butcher his name.

Another colleague gets up at this point and is astounded at his stupidity. "He isn't Chinese, he is Vietnamese. Vietnamese!" Its almost as if the manager doesn't hear him.

"So yeah, email the Chinese guy." I look at him and bordering on rude I once again echo that he is not Chinese and his ethnic origins is not the sole way to define him and if that is how he is going to go about it, to at least get his background right! It bothered me quite a bit!

Now I am not huge on being policitcally correct. It took me a while to say firefighter rather than fireman. I still say mailman, because that's what I have delivering my mail. Saying mailcarrier seems demeaning, as if that is the only thing the can do. They are not simply beasts of burden! But I do think that we should be more aware of our world and the diversity that is found in it. Thankfully we have progressed past the point where jobs, wealth, the abillity to vote, and even your future was determined by your sex or the color of your skin (we are moving past that because unfortunately we have yet to overcome all the remaining hurdles.) I used to think that people were being overly sensitive and that we should get over it. However I also think that we have progressed and we have allowed ourselves to come to terms with the hurts and the mistakes of the past.

So I will close with another anecdote. I was at a poetry slam (nothing like tea and crumpets poetry reading) and I was talking to this poet and the conversation came to the fact that I had just become a father. We talked about the difficulties and the joys of raising a child and then he asked me, "Do you have a partner to share the job with you?" I smiled on the inside realizing that in today's world there are so many options to a family's structure. Having a child does not automatically make your married. I could have adopted, I could be divorced, I could be gay... so many options!

I found it fun.

35 cents is a lot...

So this one is going to be a short one with no photo. Sorry to all you visual people.

Forget 50 cent, I had a problem with 35 cents! No its not some up-and-coming-wannabe-rapper but it was the amount of change in my pocket. I was walking down to the metro (thats what the subway is called in Montreal) and I was completely lost in my own thoughts. I was in a kind of bad mood and all I wanted to do was to get home as soon as possible! So I had reached into my pocket to grab my metro pass and I noticed that I had 35 cents in my pocket. Being in a bad mood, I got frustrated and said what good is 35 cents? What can I do with that?

As I thought this, a guy came up and asked me something. Judging by the way he dressed, his piercings, and home-made tattoos he was going to ask me for something. I put up my defenses and kept my head down hoping not to make eye contact.

"Sorry, do you have 35 cents so I can make a phone call?" And in his hand he had a nickel and a dime.

"No. Sorry." And I kept walking and disappeared down the escalator. In less than a second I had lied to this guy... twice! I did have exactly 35 cents which I wasn't very thankful for and that were virtually useless to me! And I unfortunately wasn't sorry. I had my head up my ass and thought that the world was coming down on me, when this street kid needed to make a phone call. I had a huge gut check on my way down to the metro. I didn't care. I want to live my life where I treat others with the respect they are entitled to. Even more than that! I want to treat them better than they deserve. How many times have I just finished shopping for whatever it may be and a homeless person asks for some change and arms laden with goodies and with comparitively full pockets I tell them no I don't have any. How many times have I lied about this?

I am glad to say that I turned around when I got to the bottom and went back upstairs to find the guy still asking for change. I gave him the 35 cents I had and apologized. It was an awkward conversation, though incredibly brief, but the guy was a class act and was just happy that he could make his phone call. Doing the right thing is so often incredibly bittersweet.

Best 35 cents I ever spent!

My morning commute

Today I have an early morning shift; 7:00am-3:30pm. Its nice to get the afternoon off to do whatever it is I have to do, but getting up this early is sooooooo tough! I used to drive in to work but even at 6am there is traffic. I live in a part of town (or just outside of town) that it always seems as though there is traffic. Its unbelievable actually. At 6am it takes you almost an hour to get into work door to door. The people who wake up to beat the rush hour traffic create a mini rush hour traffic. Its so frustrating!

I love driving. I love controlling the pace of how I come in. I like catching up on the sports scores on the radio. But coming into work at 6am in a traffic jam is no longer driving. I feel like I am in a soap box racer with nothing but uphills ahead of me. So my wife convinced me to abandon my morning drive for public transport (see previous post for other things she makes me give up!!! :) ). I didn't like the idea of turning in my wonderful car... I even donated the thing to a non-profit organization just so I can't turn back! So I used to drive my car and be in my little bubble where I control where I go, what I listen to, what I see. Its my own little world, moving along and rarely interacting with any of the other little worlds alongside me. Unless they decide to cut me off and then interaction abounds!

So now I like talking the BMW (bus, metro, walk for those of you from outside of the Montreal area. Although I walk to get to the bus which brings me to the metro which pops me out right next to my work.) I enjoy being able to read on my way to work and sleep if I choose to. I like watching people fall asleep as their heads bob up and down like a floating cork. I like the fact that I am helping out the environment and the city's infrastructure. However I have noticed that there is something interesting about my morning metro rides. If you want to see how culturally diverse your city is, ride public transport in the wee hours of the morning. I get to ride with the United Nations every morning.

They get on with the lunches for the day and the free newspaper that is handed out at the doors of the station. They wear uniforms or multiple layers because they probably don't have the best jobs out there. At different points during the commute people get on and off and when they recognize a fellow countryman they give a big smile and immeadiately begin to speak rapidly in their native tongue. I hear very little French or English. I have started to recognize some of them and I know that their shifts are a lot longer than mine. If you have personal space issues they quickly disappear as you cram into your little seats (if you're lucky enough to get one!) and brush hands as you try to keep your balance when the vehicle comes to a complete stop. It truly is an enriching experience, though at six in the morning I am not at my best to appreciate it.

Lessons from a tea bag

My wife put me on a diet. If you knew me you would find the concept of me dieting is ludicrous. I have never done it and never planned on it. My idea of dieting was restraining myself from ordering an extra Big Mac Combo. I enjoy eating. Eating enjoys me. So anyways...

Part of this diet was to cut out sugars and caffeine from your diet. It is supposed to help balance you out and make your body better prepared for this change. So no more coffees, Coke, or ice cream. Damn! So I have been drinking herbal tea with flavored with natural nectars or sugar substitutes. My search for herbal teas led me to this particular company "Yogi Tea," of which I am now a big fan. If you read the box this tea should get a Nobel Prize. I feel better just buying it! It makes my drinking seem so spiritual! The universe wants me to drink this tea! Its almost like a spiritual rush. But I of course manage to screw it up. Each tea bag has a little quote on the "tail" of the bag that is supposed to lift your spirits and bring you into alignment with the universe. Today it was:

"Socialize with compassion, kindness, and grace."

I dropped the tea bag into the boiling hot water with a little too much vigor and the little tail went into the steaming briney deep. Natural reaction made me make a rush for and and I pretty much burned my fingers trying to fish it out. Profanities and footstopping shortly ensued afterwards and I can tell you that there was not much compassion, kindness, and grace in my first couple hours of work.

typical T-Giving post...

Well it's thanksgiving (Canadian style) and I am at work... working. Well blogging too. Its really dead today. Why do I have to be at work on an official day off? Especially since it was an early start and I was up late preparing supper for tonight. I wanted to do as much as I could last night because I wasn't going to have the time. And it has to be good. The inlaws and my family are coming over! So basically I am a little grumbly this morning. But here comes the thanksgiving day twist!

I have to be thankful for my job. This job that I severely dislike and sucks the life away from me like a chupacabra (latino demon/bogeyman... the word literally means goat sucker). This job pays the bills, is ultimately flexible, and is giving me time-and-a-half for my thanksgiving shift. What about all the other people who don't have a job and who would kill to work a day in my conditions, not even mentionning holiday pay!

I am thankful that I had to get up early. Even though I could sleep till the cows come home and getting up early aches in ways I am sure you can undertand, I am thankful. I got hold my son as he woke up and I got to see him smile as I got ready and left for work.

I have to be thankful that I have a home and food. I have a place to live and food to eat. I am in a position to welcome family over and share all the extra that I have.

There are tons of good things that I can be thankful about. So many that i would not be able to count them out. So maybe the issue is not what are all the good things I have to be thankful about, but the bad things. What are the things that I consider to be "less-than-positive" which most of the people on this planet would gladly accept as the difficulties of their existence.

Eat some turkey, gobble gobble. Be as happy as that puppy up there who just loves running! That reminds me, I have to go jogging... ugh! I am not going to be thankful about that!

Birth of a Fenix... 4.5 months later

Well... it has been a while since my pride and joy and graced this planet and I am going to copycat a friend of mine who has explained the name origins of his kids. Here we go!!!!

My son's name is Fenix Mateo Jarry. I will explain Mateo first just because its so much easier. My dad's first name is my middle name. My first name is now Fenix's middle name... with a Spanish twist!

Fenix is a much longer and more complex story. First let me explain a little about the myth of the phoenix. The phoenix is a mythological bird that holds great power and influence. It is a story found in many cultures across the word. The most common story is that this unique bird builds a final nest/funeral pyre and is then consumed by fire only to be reborn out of its own ashes. This story meant a lot for my wife and I as we had just gone through a rough time in our lives (through the fire) and we had just come out of it and new life came out of it. So it means a lot to us. There are some really cool stories about the phoenix and I will just share a couple.


One story involves Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. When the famous couple ate the forbidden fruit, Jewish myth says that they shared it with all the animals in the garden, which is why they all got kicked out. The only one that was spared was the phoenix because he did not partake and his reward was this type of immortality.

Another story describes how in ancient Greece the phoenix was a sign of good fortune. Politicians looking to gain favor with their public would avidly search for the rebirth of the phoenix which was an good omen and a sign of a great era to follow.

Besides the hundreds of stories the phoenix also symbolizes many things for many different peoples. Here are a few:

Immortality, Life after death, and Resurrection: Christians adopted the symbolism of the phoenix as an allusion to Christ's resurrection. In the Middle East they link the phoenix with palm trees which they consider to be eternal and powerful with their ability to prosper in desert conditions(very similar to rising from the ashes).

Divinity, Spirit, and Spiritual Obedience: Almost all cultures consider the phoenix to be a divine creature. The Chinese believe it to be the most sacred creature after the dragon. In fact the phoenix complements the dragon (yin-yang principle). In Japanese and Greek myths the phoenix represents the sun which was viewed as a god. Also in Judeo-Christian stories the phoenix embodies spiritual obedience as it is the first creature to hear God's command and obey it.

Health, Healing, and Balance: Obviously any creature that can regenerate itself from its own ashes must be in top physical condition and in great health. It is believed that the tears of a phoenix can heal any wound or injury including death. Some cultures say that the phoenix acts as a sort of ozone layer and protects the planet from the harmful rays of the sun. Another tradition shows how the phoenix values life and describes that the phoenix never kills and does not crush anything wherever it steps. The phoenix also plays a significant role in terms of balance. The chinese identified him as a symbol of inseperable fellowship, between couples and with the universe. This inseperable fellowship consists of maintaining a perfect balance which the Chinese held as of utmost importance.


Another reason that we went with Fenix was the fact that it is trilingual. Being that my wife is latina and we are both linked to Quebec and I have we both speak English it was important that it worked in the three languages. There is an accent over the "e" which this blog does not accept and so Fenix is acutally spelled the Spanish way since the "ph" as an "f" sound does not exist in Spanish. We also wanted to be different and not have to link it to the city in Arizona... so there.


So we hope for the best for our little man. We feel that the name Fenix reflects a piece of us and our lives and the things we hope for our son. I believe that it is tough and macho enough while maintaining a certain grace and artistic quality which we hope to pass on to our curious boy.





There are tons of other stories about the phoenix the span many, many cultures and if you would like to hear more please let me know. Or if you just want to know about Fenix I will be more than happy to field those questions as well!

Reflections of you...

I think that's the name of a song... not sure. But anyhow... I have been chatting with my wife about who I am as we work out whats wrong with and doing the typical psychological analysis. I am not saying that there is something seriously wrong with me... I am not medically crazy or something. But you know, we are just taking the time to look at me and kind of sort things out. Once you get married or you have a seriously relationship this will become the norm and your partner will live for these moments! Just kidding... love you babe! Oh boy... I will probably have to go through another one of these things when I get back home! :)






So for the purposes of keeping this blog active I am going to chat a little bit about reflections.







Visually speaking they are amazing and will continue fascinating us forever. Imagine one of those gorgeous landscapes with the mountains surrounding a still lake. The upside-down mountains we find in water, lined up against the real thing will take our breath away. Just seeing something again, differently, or in something that you wouldn't expect will keep us busy and interested for a long time. You ever notice that in most major buildings you will always find a mirror by the elevator or in the elevator? The reasons that its that are a) aesthetically speaking its very nice and makes everything seem larger and b) people spend their time looking in the mirrors and they dont notice the time pass.





As a photographer I am always looking for reflections of things. On the left you can see a photo of water drops reflected on the spoiler of my car. Underneath those reflections you can see the hazy mirror image of the tree outside my parents house set upon the blue sky. Sometimes you really have to pay attention and catch what is already out there. It takes work to see the things that your mind will pass over quickly as mundane.





So there is a deeper meaning to all of this. I think its the same thing with my life. I dont think I search hard enough to reflect upon what is going on in my life. I just gloss over things and not realizing that getting a different perspective can certainly help and make me see things more clearly. Its not obvious to stop and reflect or look at that reflection of you. Sometimes its not fun and you see things you dont like. Its so much easier to ignore it and continue on your way!

I haven't spent tons of time thinking this out and making something really powerful that will make you go home and look at yourself differently. However the main points still stand. Reflections are beautiful and whether or not we realize it, we are drawn to them and are mystified by the mirror-image. Reflection is necessary for our own lives. We gotta take a deep look at we are and see ourselves with all our blemishes, pimples, and unshaven stubble. Hey vampires can't do it... we should take full advantage.

what i believe...

I have been putting this off for a long time because I really don't know what to say. I was thinking about doing research and coming up with something really intelligent, well-planned, and thought out. But that's really not my style. I am a think about it a little bit, procrastinate a lot, and then just get something out there because I have been putting it off for way too long. So here goes...

The things I read, the things I do, the jobs I have had, and the things I say have caused quite a few people to ask, "Are you religious or something?" How they get that I am not entirely sure. I use profanity freely, I shock people, and do some crazy and downright stupid things. I guess I do them with passion... so that passes. I don't like the term religious because I hope and feel that I am not religious. At all. Not in the least bit. The only thing I do religiously is check my facebook to see if people still like me. However I do have a great degree of faith.

I have faith that things will work out in the end, no matter how badly they are going now (which sometimes feeds into my laziness). I believe that there is a God out there and that He (or she, I think that God is gender-neutral but I have so conditioned to write He, I just can't break the habit... see Pavlov's dogs... woof woof!) cares for me a great deal, cares for you a great deal, cares for this planet and all thats on it a great deal, and cares an even greater deal for how we all interact together. I love this God. He is funny. I think His favorite style of humour is irony. Not always so funny for me, but normally I am able to laugh at it in hindsight. (I wish my hindsight could be my foresight... that would help things quite a bit) I see God as Jesus and most of the stories that are told about Him, I can go along with.

Some of the stories I don't necessarily disagree with, but I think we focus on the wrong things and make mountains out of mustard seeds, spiritually speaking. Man (woman too, but chances are due to how the world worked back then we can hold men more accountable) has gone and screwed up things completely. They were faced with situations, events, and ideas that were so impossible to explain they had no choice but to try and explain them. Why did they do that? I am not sure but we still do it today. We want to take care of these kinds of things. We need to solve the mysteries out there so that they don't scare us. We want them put into boxes (or systems as my friend Tim says) so we can put them on the shelf in the storage closet where it will never haunt us again. So we try and explain the things we can't possibly comprehend and so we do a piss-poor job of it and make things worse by hurting the people and the planet that get abused by the system put into place.

So without going into a huge song and dance about how religion is a system to explain spirituality and God and that it often fails horribly because of its intent, I will quickly close about the things I hold as important. I believe that because we are not the end all and be all of the universe we need to act like it. There is a God out there and the most important thing is to love Him and seek to know more about Him because your life will change for the better. It doesn't mean you will be happier or things will be easier. But things will be better. We need to love those who don't get love because they need it most. (its hard... i struggle at it... alot) This means the people who cut you off in traffic, the person at work you can't stand, or that unpopular loner at work/school. That if you are reading this you are most likely incredibly fortunate and well off by world standards and we have a responsibility to help those outside of our immeadiate circle. This includes people of whatever race, color, language, background, and religion. (and preferably while we do these things that we are not profiting for ourselves and enhancing our position). I believe that we need a little more discomfort in our lives in order to remind us of our position. There are all kinds of other things up in my head but I think the last one I will throw in is to be inspired by things and allow these things to push you into action and inspire others. So whether you like to sing, dance, paint, write, meditate, preach, give, run, work, or whatever... just do it. Fairly simple and not that deep but I actively seek out inspiration and it always makes me feel better and I have known it to help others.

PS... these pictures I find something inspiring about each of them even though they have a typically religious theme. Peace...

Hurricane Ike, Turn-away!

Ike Turner... get it? He probably hits harder.... ooooooh! That is not funny, but i still went there.

Well he had to deal with Hurricane Ike while we were trying to enjoy a little vacation in Cayo Coco, Cuba. Home of Fidel, Che, and Rum. Due to the weather and the fact that we had to leave early meant that I didn't get to see much of any of them.

So we flew down on a special deal for an all-inclusive. Why were we so priveleged to get a special deal? Because a hurricane was on the way. Now we are no dummies. We know that hurricanes are crazy strong and they don't just mean a "storm" was going to pass through. We did our research. People had told us that it wasn't so bad and that it would quickly pass and Cuba was well equipped and experienced for these kinds of things. So we got down there and the first morning we got our hurricane warning and evacuation procedure... gulp! Still we were unphased. Then that evening room service came and asked if they could tape up our windows (see pic above). How did they know we were going to do it and why advertise to everyone...? Actually it was to help protect against the window breaking. Gulp part 2! Even though it was a nice sun-shiny day the wind was blowing fairly strong and we knew that we weren't so far away from experiencing something very powerful. We were advised that night at dinner that in prepartion for the hurricane that we would all have to meet in the shelter at 7am the next morning. Gulp, gulp, gulp! As we headed back we noticed how all the windows were now boarded up, the bars had been closed, any glass tables were locked up and put away, and people were drinking like fish. (fish don't actually drink like we do, but its fun to imagine a bunch of fish sitting around and drinking... ok its not that fun. lets continue) We packed our baby's bag just in case we needed to get out of there in a hurry... oh wait. Did I leave out the fact that we had a 3 month old with us??? We are adventuresome are we not? We had some of the staff and hotel customers cast us disapproving looks for our poor parenting choice. We're really horrible people.

So we get a phone call at 1am that night just wanting to check up on how we were doing. Ummmm... thanks? We're fine? Really sleepy... but fine. We didn't sleep that much so when they called back at 4:30am and told us: "Get out of your room, NOW!" We were ready to go! The wind was howling and the rain was dropping so hard you've think it would knock your eyeballs right out of your head! Clo had the baby, wrapped up and covered as much as possible and I had my camera bag, passports, Fenix's suitcase, and his diaper bag as we started our trek to the shelter. We had a great room far away from everything and close to the beach, but at this point we were not so keen on our room assignment. We moved slowly and were soaked before we even took our first step. As we moved one of the hotel staff saw our predicament and grabbed Fenix from my wife. He had a solid rain jacket and covered him up as best as possible as another one came over and offered up his raincoat. We moved from building to building trying to get as much shelter as possible. The whole time Fenix is smiling and laughing as if this was the best vacation ever! Seeing that he was only 3 months, that could have been the case!

So we finally reach the shelter, which by the way is only the cafeteria boarded up. We try to make do with the stiff backed chairs and the damp towels we are handed. Imagine all of us crowded in there trying to get comfortable and trying to sleep. Fenix was pretty happy though. He got a nice bed and a lot of attention, so he was good. The rest of us were stuck trying to stay up or sleeping on the floor. It was not very comfortable but we managed to last the 12 or so hours we were there. We did fun things like eat...uh.... .... and play Bingo Bingo Bingo! Not just Bingo. But BINGO, BINGO, BINGO!!! Cubans apparently like yelling bingo and so they want you to say it three times. Once the storm passed we were set back out into the wild. And it did look wild. Trees uprooted, windows broken... the whole nine yards. We had little electricity, no water, and no way to cool down as the beach and pool were closed. Good times.

We were soon evacuated out when Air Canada sent a plane to rescue us. Not just us, but a whole bunch of people. So we lost out on 3 days of our vacation and were not refunded for it. But we were ready to go. We had had our fill. We really want to see what Cuba has to offer... but maybe we will wait till the nice season.